Time is such a precious thing. Never in my life have I been so aware of time running by so fast. Since I’ve started working full-time the weeks seem to fly by. I leave the apartment in the morning and return to it in the evening. I must admit that most of the time I am so exhausted after a long day at work that I can’t even start to think about after-work-activities let alone sport.
With the time flying by I have also realized that there are still so many things I want to do in my life. I have always been enthusiastic about sport and health, I even wanted to study medicine. Lately I have thought a lot about studying again in this field. I would also love to live some time abroad again, even if it is just for a couple of months. As you know I was in New York City the other week and I absolutely loved it. I would like to challenge myself and live in this vibrant city for some time. And of course I also want a baby eventually and be successful in my job.
I am 27 now and I already feel like I am running out of time. How can that even happen? I am only in my late 20s but somehow society has given me the impression that if I don’t succeed now in terms of both, professional and personal life, I am too old to still make it. It’s ridiculous, it’s always all over the news that people get older and older nowadays. Still we have to rush through our lives and make everything happen as fast as possible. And I am feeling caught right in that trap. If I want to go to New York or if I want to study again, I have to do it now, or I am too old. However, I have just started my new job and it is not so easy to find a decent job here in Berlin. So if I quit, when would I find a new job? Besides, in the eyes of society I am already too old. “What about your pension when you’re old?” is something I get to hear a lot. Or “If you ain’t earn nothing you’ll get nothing from the state for maternity leave.
As a woman there is a lot of pressure on us to make everything in time. We have a biological clock ticking when we’re getting older and instead of getting wiser, sexier, and more successful just as men do, we simply get long into the tooth. And it is really hard to not let that pressure get to you. I’ve been planning my future my whole life and I thought that with 27 I would have everything figured out. Instead I feel more confused than ever.
I’m sorry, I didn’t even want to write such a feminist piece here, but it just happened and now I don’t want to hit the backspace button. What do you think about this subject?
In terms of my outfit: I am wearing my new Levi’s, an old Asos top and an old H&M sweater (similar: love this one, but also this and this). The shoes are from Tamaris, but I guess you know them pretty well by now 😉